I've been writing a lot about my fears, my worries, my concerns. It's how I process information. But tonight my friend L reminded me about something else: bravery. To quote her, what R is doing, transitioning and changing his biological gender to his true gender "is really fucking brave ... it's so brave." And L is right. R is fucking brave. He spent his whole life living life as people wanted him to. I'm not going to go into details because they really don't matter (and because I want to respect his privacy), but it's the same story a lot of trans people tell: they tried to live as the gender their body appeared to be. They really did. They did everything. And by everything, I mean everything. But it wasn't right for them. The more I think about it, the more I think it's a form of torture to try to conform to what the world thinks you should be. As a gay person (and we'll use gay like queer here) I know what it's like to try to make myself into something I'm not to make others happy. Ultimately, I've made choices to follow my heart. Fortunately for us (the world) being gay is just not that big of a deal anymore. People hardly notice two women together. But trans? It's where gay was 30 years ago (and yes, I'm making up the number 30 but you know what I mean). It's still weird to people. It's still shocking. But I say this: R, you are my hero. And yeah, you are so fucking brave.
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