Why they name kids at birth...

This is a post for those who actually know who I am (which I assume is most of you) and keep asking, so like, what the hell is is name? And you're tired of me glaring back and saying, hey, it's complicated.

We had chosen a name. Actually HE had chosen his OWN name. It began with R. Thus, the R reference (ok, not that clever but it works). But he didn't like the way I said it. I guess there was a little unintentional disdain. But you know, when your girlfriend becomes your boyfriend, it's complicated and of course, there are some hard feelings and I think I'm allowed a tad of disdain along the way. But honestly, I think he's reading too much into my tone. I think it sounded funky because R is a little like ARRRR... or like you know, a Pirate Name.. like ARRRRHHHH.

Photo via Flickr by by Earl - What I Saw 2.0

But there were other problems with the name that I won't go into lest I reveal it. So that name is probably out.

Then he was going to masculinize the name he goes by. I thought that was great. I even suggested it. But then I started using it and that felt wrong too (OK before you misinterpret this, this is NOT all about me. It's HIS name, but since I'm the one who will be using it the most, how I say it is apparently important.) But his given name was too associated with being, you know, a chick.

So I suggested a new name the other night. And he said, wow, that's the name I always wanted, but you told me you didn't like it. I was like, I did? I must have. But we were going through lists and lists of names.

There were days when we'd be in the car and we'd go through a laundry list of dude names. How about Joe? NO. NOT JOE. OK, so how about Sam. Sam? What? No. Sam was the boyfriend of his best friend from high school who broke her heart and turned out to a low-class embezzler (not even for a lot of money). Well, you can see where I'm going with this. Every name had something attached to it.

This is why parents name their kids AT BIRTH. Because they can't talk back and say, really? You're naming me, Henry? Also, even if they could talk back, at birth they know no Henry's yet (assuming that they do not, upon entering the world, remember that in a past life a dude named Henry owed them a lot of money and had toxically bad breath).

So choosing a name is tough. Anyhow, I had no recollection of hating this name that the other night (Valentine's if you must know) sounded so great. So  that's probably going to be what we're going for. I'll let you know when I can.

And then, you know what? I've never liked my name. So maybe I'll change it too.