Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Scraping the walls of my psyche. Or not.

Hi loyal reader (or maybe readers) I never intended to take a break, but I did. For the last several months I've been busy with other things in life (caregiving, having surgery, traveling) and I found that every time I thought of catching up with the blog, I just didn't want to. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, but it's the truth.  So I just let myself not want to. Did you need to see another post on all the hair that he is growing? Did you need to see another one talking about my identity? Did you need to see another one talking about how weird everything is? Or how normal it's becoming? Exactly. I've pretty much covered the basics. And I guess I just needed a break from processing. Am I escaping? Possibly.  I've noticed that I'm sort of actually actively avoiding thinking about the whole topic.  Or maybe it's just that I come most of the good out and the continued posts were just short of scraping the walls of my psyche. And that kind of hurts. Anyhow, I've never been a person of few words so I'm sure I will post again soon.  But I just call this a resting point.

5 comments:

  1. Hi, I'm not really sure if you are still actively blogging here but thanks for doing this. I recently started dating a trans guy who has neither started T nor had top surgery mostly because he is trying to find a safe career in which to transition. This has been an interesting transition for me because I've been dating women for the last 17 years. I have fallen in love though, and I think and I hope I will still feel the same post transition. I have been watching lots of videos and trying to prepare myself for the period of change ahead. Mostly I just long to share experience with others who love transmen too.

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  2. Perhaps you're not saying anything lately because you're accepting who you are ... it's no longer that you're an FTM but a male. :) I think it's a sign of excellent progress and becoming who you always have known you to be.

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    1. Hi – I took a long break from the blog for personal reasons (health issues etc.) but now I'm back to actively blogging. So I'm responding to you because I think you'll get a notification. I think my partner is both a man and a transman. That's the kind of man he is. Just as I'm both a woman and a lesbian woman. But even those two categories are constraining. Also I want to clarify that this blog is about me – the partner. It really isn't about the person who is transitioning. I leave that up to him to speak for himself.

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  3. Hi there! I am married to a man who happens to be FTM and we have been together for 7+ years (began dating prior to him starting any transition at all) and I have been thinking about writing a blog or book for a long time. It's funny, though, you pretty much cover the topics I think people what to read about (hair, junk, bathrooms, marriage, surgery, identity) and the interesting part is that what's left is the parts that make us all so interesting. What did you guys do on your first date? What about your favorite date spots? Have you thought about having a family? I care so much about the transitioning topics that sometimes the other topics don't seem as relevant. But know that they are. Hopefully that helps inspire you to write more (and know that there are readers like me looking to relate, not necessarily looking for help)! Kudos to you and your man, from me and mine. :)

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    1. I think you should definitely keep a blog. Everyone's experience is different. He did not start transitioning until seven years into our relationship for such a huge variety of reasons that I don't even want to get into them now. I think the more voices out there, the better. And there are some great email lists where partners get to talk to each other. Good luck with you and your man!

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